Bernie's mechanic insists Tony borrow Dennis Rodman's Hummer when his car is in the shop. When Tony's car is ready he puts off giving Rodman his car back. Tony quickly learns it isn't a good idea to ""borrow"" an NBA player's car.

When Dana goes out of town to supervise a monkey transfer from the Chicago Zoo, Tony invites Bernie to recuperate from his knee surgery and enjoy a weekend of relaxation at their house. The friends enjoy a few days of watching movies and eating nachos in bed, while Bernie helps Tony with his parenting duties. However, the ""honeymoon"" quickly comes to an end when Bernie's girlfriend shows up and Megan ends up sneaking out of the house.

Dana tries to ward off her feelings of middle-age by getting a tattoo. When Tony expresses his disapproval, Dana vows to remove the tattoo if Tony can lose ten pounds. Meanwhile, Megan discovers that Mickey's new girlfriend is cheating on him with another boy, but Mickey doesn't believe her.

When Megan's soccer coach Mitch leaves, Bernie graciously offers to step in and lead the team. Tony feels like a bad father when Bernie has better luck getting through to Megan as her soccer coach than he ever has as her dad. Little does Tony know that Bernie has a trick up his sleeve – he found just the right kind of motivation for a team of young women to get in the fighting spirit and start winning games.