Although he's supposed to be writing a speech for work, Eric spends his day irritated that everyone else in the world is getting some. But his hopes are lifted when an old college fling calls him out of the blue and wants to go out. Problem is, Eric promised Claire that he'd take her to the non-allergenic carnival. So Eric, Claire, and his former flame are off to the carnival. At the end of the evening, Eric takes the old friend home, and the pair endlessly attempt to have sex -- quietly. As if that's possible....

When Eric needs to get £35 to pay the window washer, he is forced to break Claire's piggy bank to get the money. In doing so, he finds her diary and discovers she wants a pony. Finding that a pony is out of his price range, he gets a smelly donkey with removable ears. When Claire insists the donkey go in the Gymkhana at school, Eric has no choice but to enter the old thing in the competition. Meanwhile, Brian and Maria raise havoc with a chemistry set.