Hayley comes home from a Green Party rally with her hair dyed green, instigating a fight with Stan. While she's sleeping, Stan cuts her hair (for her own good, of course). After learning of what Stan did, a wigged Hayley defies her father yet again by moving into the van of her new boyfriend. When Stan cuts her off financially, she gets a job as a waitress in a strip club, which pushes Stan right off the edge. Meanwhile, Steve tries to pass Roger off as his disfigured sister in order to cop a feel with a female classmate.

When Steve brings home a permission slip to take sex ed at school, Stan flips out and demands to teach it himself. However, after Stan unrealistically explains the birds and the bees to Steve, he gets into an accident that causes him to take matters into his own hands. Meanwhile, Roger becomes a bartender in hopes of making something of himself.

After Stan and Roger have a rough day, they get into a fight that leads to a "Freaky Friday"-type switcheroo where they get a taste of life in each other's shoes. But after the excitement of a new life stales, they face each other's problems as Roger is under pressure at work and Stan yearns to be needed. The swap gets out of hand as the family starts to crumble.

Stan realizes his own weight problem after he criticizes Steve about his new, overweight girlfriend, so he goes overboard with exercising, and develops anorexia. Steve realizes that his overweight girlfriend is the root of his father's problems, and he has to make a hard choice in an effort to save his father's life.

When Roger helps Steve see that his father isn't as smart as he always believed, the power-hungry pair set their sights on fame and fortune in New York City. It doesn't take long for Roger to lose everything on Wall Street, and Steve contemplates prostitution after Jon Stewart shoots down his comedy routine. Meanwhile, the rest of the family is certain that the two have just run away to the tree house, so when it explodes in a lightning storm, they are devastated, but console themselves with Steve's college fund.

When Stan brings home CIA equipment designed to eavesdrop on conversations, he finds out that his neighbors don't think too highly of him. In retaliation, Stan has the entire neighborhood evicted so that he can live free of any criticism. However, when an unexpected friend comes to his rescue, he realizes that gossip is a two-way street.

Although Stan is a veteran CIA agent, it turns out that he has never killed anyone, so three of his buddies from the agency (and Roger) take him out so he can bag his "first kill."

After almost dying in a car crash, Stan decides that he must do something important with his life, so he digs for the gold he claims Iran-Contra figure Oliver North buried beneath his house. Meanwhile, Roger poses as a sexually provocative female office worker, hoping he'll be harassed so he can sue over it.

When Steve suffers indignities in school because of the back brace he must wear for his scoliosis, Stan confides in him that he wears a wig to cover his baldness. Meanwhile, Roger invites both Francine and Hayley to a posh spa even though he has only two passes.

Steve joins a football team to please Stan, who then takes over as coach and gives Steve the boot because he isn't good enough. Meanwhile, Francine and Hayley vie for a blue ribbon at the county fair.

Francine teaches Roger to be self-sufficient so he can get his own place; at camp, Steve and his friends fall prey to a scheme.

Stan gives Francine "love coupons" for Valentine's Day, but refuses to honor them once he becomes preoccupied with his very own CIA cyborg. Meanwhile, Roger helps Steve and his friends remake a classic '80s movie.

If there’s one thing that Stan Smith loves, it’s a good jury trial. He anxiously awaits his annual jury summons. But when Roger is the defendant in the trial where Stan is the foreman, he is finally in a position to make Roger accountable for his misdeeds. Meanwhile, Jeff and Hayley move in with the Smiths, and Francine tries to get Jeff to clean up his act.

Stan and Francine have trouble keeping up with a younger couple's lifestyle.

Francine gets a job at Stan’s office, which cramps Stan’s style and his ability to flirt with co-workers.

When Francine retaliates with a little flirting of her own, war breaks out at work.

When Stan is overly enthusiastic about his hatred for old people, a hex is placed on him that turns him into a frail, old man. Meanwhile, Roger takes Francine on a road trip to a dance competition, but she soon finds out it's not what she bargained for.

Stan fears he may not be Hayley's real father, so he goes back in time to find the truth. In doing so, he disrupts the past and must save the future.

Francine thinks Stan spends too much time with his friends; a boy band recruits Steve and his friends for a music video.

Francine tries to get Stan to spice up their sex life; Hayley tries to get back into dating and accepts a date with Snot.

Francine's "Poltergasm" starts to haunt the Smith household when she is unsatisfied by Stan in the sack, and Roger must conjure a medium named Zelda Rubinstein to help eliminate the ghost. Meanwhile, Hayley introduces her new boy-toy, Mauricio to the family.

Roger suffers a horrific car crash as he tries to take a picture of his crotch on a traffic speed cam. After waking up from a coma, he starts to have eerie visions of the future, and saves the Smiths from a terrible fire. But, Roger's abuse of his newfound powers soon draws the ire of his fellow family members and the Smiths must learn to cope with the uncertainty of the future.

Hayley, still heartbroken over Jeff’s abduction, meets millionaire Matt Davis, who begins to help her move forward, until Steve and Snot discover that Jeff’s alive and trying to make it back to her.

When the CIA is forced to make cutbacks and go on furlough, Stan volunteers to take a position as a college campus security guard. Meanwhile, Roger opens a bed and breakfast to boost the family's income.

Stan is horrified when he sees a couple die in a car crash, and he goes to see a shrink. Meanwhile, Roger and Klaus study for a wine tasting.

Stan goes undercover as a surfer a la Point Break. Steve befriends a drifter, Hayley might be pregnant, and Roger wants the World Cup to be held in the backyard.

When Stan is on a mission, Francine pretends she's a widow. Steve and his friends play wrestling and get beat up by Principal Lewis.

Stan and Steve start bowling for more quality time together; Klaus holds a contest to see whether Roger or Hayley has the worse attention span.

The Smith family must rescue Steve after he is kidnapped and taken to the North Pole. There, Santa Claus is using children to mine for precious stones that he needs to perform an ancient ritual.

Stan becomes addicted to dying after Roger tricks him into thinking he had a heart attack; Klaus takes Steve to the Arizona State University for a college visit, where a fraternity hazes him.

Francine becomes a conspiracy theorist when she finds out Stan has been shielding her from unhappy news; Klaus and Steve help Snot pimp out his basement.

Bullock asks Stan to fill in for him at his class at the CIA Academy and Stan finds that the cadets are the perfect captive audience for his boring stories; Klaus becomes the hype-man for a famous rapper

Steve gets competitive during the father-son events at Possum Lake. Roger learns how to ride a bike.

Steve introduces Stan and Francine to Barry's parents and Steve regrets it. Roger goes blind.

Francine helps Hayley take a break from their marriages. Stan and Jeff pretend to be frontiersmen.

Roger helps Francine with her terrible cooking by bringing her to a remote Patagonian island. Stan gets a nail in his head and can’t speak.

Stan struggles to cope with the untimely death of his father. Meanwhile, a simple canoeing trip does catastrophic damage to Hayley and Jeff's relationship.

When one of Roger's characters falls in love with Dick, it affects the whole family.

The Smiths take a trip on an old steam locomotive to visit Francine's aunt only to discover it's being hijacked.