Stewie misbehaves while visiting his grandparents.

When a hurricane strikes Quohog, everything is destroyed including The Drunken Clam, which is bought out by a Brit who turns it into an English pub. As it happens, pub owner Nigel Pinchley and his family move in next door to the Griffins, and Stewie tries to teach Nigel's Cockney-accented 3-year-old daughter how to speak proper English.

The Griffins are put into the witness protection program.

Brian is sentenced to care for a crabby old woman; Peter's beard becomes a home for birds.

Stewie goes to England to take refuge in his favorite television show, while Lois embarrasses Peter at a KISS concert.

The day that Peter buys volcano insurance is the day that Lois becomes fed up with their constant money problems.

"The Bachelorette" comes to Quahog and Brian is chosen to be a contestant. Brian does not like the show, but participates just to have a vacation only to wind up falling in love with the bachelorette. Meanwhile, Chris gets a nasty pimple on his cheek, which talks to Chris and likes to cause mischief.

After a “wardrobe malfunction” occurs during a live broadcast, the FCC begins to censor all of Peter’s favorite shows. As a result, Peter creates his own station, PTV, which broadcasts from the Griffin home. Peter and Brian create their own edgy programming until the FCC shows up to shut down PTV and censor all controversial material in Quahog.

At his high school reunion, Peter tries to impress his fellow classmates. When Peter, heading for the bathroom, charges through the crowd of people, impresses quarterback Tom Brady, who offers Peter a spot on the New England Patriots. Meanwhile, Brian owes Stewie money, after Stewie becomes a sports bookie.

Peter gets a vasectomy and loses all his sex drive. Lois begins to gain weight, and as a result, Peter's regains his interest in his wife. When Lois' habits get out of control, she has a heart attack. The surgeon must remove Lois' fat to reach her heart, returning her to her normal weight. Meanwhile, Stewie's half-brother Bertram returns to confront him, where they have a war for control over the playground.

After Peter uses Meg's money to buy himself a tank, she gets a job at the new Superstore in town. However, the Superstore puts all the shops in town out of business and sucks up the city's power supply. Brian and Stewie team up to save the town from the corporate giant.

Brian sells Rupert at a garage sale. Stewie, who is upset with Brian, takes him cross country to Colorado to find his beloved teddy, and ends up having a ski-off to win back Rupert. Meanwhile, Peter loses his license, so Meg has to drive him around.

Death grants Peter's wish to go back in time to 1984 when he was 18, but only for one night. He ends up bailing on a date with Lois to hang out with a movie actress. When he returns to the present, he soon realizes that everything is anything but normal, as he is now married to the former actress, and Lois is with Quagmire. Meanwhile, Stewie, Chris and Meg have also taken on Quagmire's charming characteristics.