After Mort bowls a perfect game, and Quagmire gets a key to the city by performing CPR, Peter notices he has nothing to be proud of. He then attempts to achieve fame by setting the world's record for most nickels swallowed. However, a slight miscalculation leaves him blind with nickel poisoning.

To pay for Stewie’s private school, Lois becomes a postal worker. She finds a letter from Peter that was never sent to his old fling, Gretchen, dated a week before their marriage. When Gretchen tries to come between Lois and Peter, Lois has a plan of her own.