Stewie becomes obsessed with Lois, after she saves Rupert. Though Lois doesn't take to the new Stewie all too well. Meanwhile, Peter thinks his doctor is molesting him, when he undergoes a prostate exam.

When Peter re-discovers his love for the painfully annoying yet seductively catchy tune "Surfin' Bird," Brian and Stewie decide to take matters into their own hands to ensure that the song will never be heard again! On the verge of tears, Peter goes to every record store in Quahog to track down his beloved jingle, and he runs into a familiar face and ends up hanging out with Jesus Christ.

Peter buys a farm and becomes a meth dealer.

The Griffins go to Italy and are faced with annoying immigration laws after Peter destroys their passports.

Chris becomes the heir to Carter's fortune but refuses to accept the money; Peter desperately tries to keep the wealth in the family.

Peter helps Joe fulfill his dream of getting a book published, only to take over as the writer. In the meantime, Brian develops an extreme thirst for exercise.

Meg gets a new job at the airport, where she's instantly popular for being the hottest employee there. Meanwhile, Cleveland becomes a therapist and starts giving Peter and Lois relationship advice, but Peter quickly becomes frustrated and threatens to tell Donna a big secret about what went down at Cleveland's bachelor party.

Stewie doesn’t like Brian’s stand-up comedy jokes, so the two of them fight. To get back at Brian and make him jealous, Stewie builds a robot friend. But when the robot outsmarts Stewie and dumps him, Brian and Stewie reunite. Meanwhile, Lois forces Peter to get a new mattress.

Peter overloads his phone with apps. He buys a new phone with more memory, gives his old phone to Chris, and hilarity ensues. Stewie joins a tennis club and invites Brian to be his tennis partner.

After the local airline pilots go on strike, Quagmire looks for new work and becomes a gigolo. When his clients begin to avoid paying for his services, he asks Peter for help getting his money. Meanwhile, Brian is kicked off Peter’s health insurance, so he gets a job at a hardware store, until Stewie gets him fired and things get medical.

Carter buys the Pawtucket Patriot brewery and decides to cut some corners to save a few bucks. Peter overhears the plan and runs and tells investigative journalist Tricia Takanawa about Carter's plan to use toxic chemicals in the beer cans. Meanwhile, Brian's drivers' license has expired and he enlists Stewie as an instructor.

Chris receives a special one-dollar bill as a birthday present, but he quickly loses it and the dollar passes into the possession of everybody in Quahog.

Vladimir Putin comes to Quahog after Peter writes to him about an alternate ending to the Russian version of Rocky IV (1985).

To help get Brian's life in order, Stewie and Brian swap bodies using a machine that Stewie invents, but chaos quickly ensues around Quahog when the machine goes haywire.

Brian quickly falls in love with a woman, and after receiving devastating news regarding her cancer diagnosis, he proposes marriage.

After a mishap at work, Peter decides to take his health more seriously and diet with the help of Quagmire, Joe, and Cleveland. When Lois takes a stab at writing a romantic fantasy novel, a curious Brian and Stewie investigate to find out who she might have a crush.

When Stewie receives a participation medal in his school's toddler games, he begins to question everything he has ever won. Meanwhile, Peter causes a fight between Lois' parents and must repair the damage he caused.

Stewie finally says his first word, and it's a swear. When Lois is shunned by the other moms, she tries to figure out where Stewie could have possibly learned it.

When Peter makes it through a bad flu season without getting sick, the hospital asks him to volunteer as a nurse, but he finds himself at a crossroads when his mortal enemy, The Giant Chicken, is admitted to the ER. Meanwhile, Brian receives his genetic test results and learns he is part cat, causing him to have an identity crisis.

Brian bonds with the son of his new girlfriend. Meanwhile, Peter, Quagmire and Cleveland take a joy ride in Joe's new classic corvette.

Quagmire meets an avid dog lover, and pretends Brian is his dog in an attempt to win her over. Meanwhile, Chris helps Stewie track down the culprit who stole his Halloween candy.

After a Christmas tree lightning ceremony Brian crashes into Mayor West's nativity scene causing outrage.

The guys' physical prowess is tested at Mayor West's dude ranch. Meanwhile, Stewie thinks he's gotten his first period.

During a game of "hide and seek," Stewie takes refuge in Quagmire's suitcase, only to wind up in Paris. Meanwhile, Peter and Lois take a getaway to Vermont, where Lois is intent on breaking Bonnie's Instagram "like" record.

Lois is blocked from a vacation rental app and accused of stealing after the family's trip to Nantucket. Meanwhile, Stewie and Brian buy saltwater taffy in bulk, and try their hands at door-to-door sales in the community.

Stewie tries to civilize his half-brother, Boston Stewie, so that he may be adopted. Meanwhile, Meg and Chris start a venture in which people online pay Chris to sit on and smash cupcakes.

Brian becomes romantically interested in someone and it inspires him to use Stewie's time machine. Strange consequences result from their journey.

Peter must gain his family's respect back after he makes a humiliating throw. Brian and Stewie become chiropractors.