Peter gets himself arrested to avoid Lois' special Thanksgiving dinner; A secret that Stewie's been keeping from everyone is revealed.

When Meg takes Stewie to the mall to meet Santa, she has a surprising response. Meanwhile, Stewie is entirely scarred from the same experience and Brian tries to help him process it.

When Peter starts coaching for Quahog's minor league baseball team, he gets constipated during the national anthem and must kneel, unintentionally becoming the face of racial justice.

Peter's non-stop sweating becomes a liability at his company, so his boss tells him to work from home. Meanwhile, after Stewie and Chris cause thousands of dollars in damage to an electronics store, the two create a fake Kickstarter campaign with Brian to pay back the money.

Principal Shepherd moves in with the Griffins after he is fired for fat-shaming Chris at school. Meanwhile, Brian sues Stewie for writing a series of children's books which portray him as an idiot.

Stewie finally says his first word, and it's a swear. When Lois is shunned by the other moms, she tries to figure out where Stewie could have possibly learned it.

Peter and Lois accidentally set up a cutaway gag together, which somehow transports them into the cutaway itself.

Meg plans her wedding to an unexpected Quahog resident. Meanwhile, Peter finds a new vest and on one of many adventures fitting for his new attire, his arms are torn off and he is left with tiny hands that have yet to grow back.

Brian's new job as a journalist leads him to uncover that Pawtucket Pat, Quahog's hero and brewery founder, took part in racist actions against Native Americans. The town becomes divided on whether or not to remove the statue that commemorates him.

Meg agrees to be Bruce and Jeffery's surrogate causing a pregnant Meg to annoy her family. But, when the couple fails to pick up the baby, the Griffins must take care of their new family.

Lois becomes a stand-up comic, using real life stories about Peter as content; Peter tries his best to straighten his life out to avoid being ridiculed by Lois's act.

After successfully landing a plane, Brian and Quagmire go on a press tour. Meanwhile Chris and Stewie open a boutique pizza place.