Father doesn't know best when Quagmire assumes responsibility for a baby left at his doorstep. Meanwhile, Stewie creates a stupid clone of himself that he uses as a slave. When he ends up creating a clone for Brian too, they find out that the clones are unstable, at which point the clones break down.

When Peter realizes Joe has never found him funny, he is determined to make Joe laugh; Lois chaperones Chris and Meg's school trip, where she strives to reunite the principal with his long-lost love.