Peter gets a check in the mail from the sale of his mother's home and he remembers that all of his old porn is still in there. When he returns to retrieve his stash, he finds a "to Peter from Peter" tape and realizes that his life has amounted to nothing. Reeling from his own failures, Peter then attempts to fix Chris before it's too late, and forces his son to spend time with Brian.

After the local airline pilots go on strike, Quagmire looks for new work and becomes a gigolo. When his clients begin to avoid paying for his services, he asks Peter for help getting his money. Meanwhile, Brian is kicked off Peter’s health insurance, so he gets a job at a hardware store, until Stewie gets him fired and things get medical.