Dick's guilt over hitting a chipmunk with his car spurs him to animal-rights activism. Tommy's in trouble with August again. Meanwhile, Harry joins the Boy Scouts.

Sally has a new boyfriend and Dick has a new friend: Don. Meanwhile, Harry goes to school.

Tommy, an old man on the home planet, says he's tired of being a kid and "retires"; Mary tells Dick she wishes she had become a singer, so Dick decides to make her wish come true.

An invitation arrives in the mail from an 'Aunt Florence', inviting 'Richard Solomon' to attend a Solomon family reunion in Indiana. This is obviously a mistake, so Dick phones Florence to set the record straight. Upon discovering that Richard is so estranged that his family wouldn't recognize him anyway, he decides that the aliens could do with some roots and accepts the invitation. Upon arriving, however, it becomes clear that the only reason the real Richard is estranged is because of an old family fallout - and it hasn't burned out yet.

Dick is up for a prestigious grant but his chances look somewhat marred when he and Mary receive chain letters, and Mary, upon throwing hers away, becomes victim to a series of misfortunes. Dick looks toward superstitious rituals and lucky charms for help. Don treats Tommy and Alissa to a series of ice hockey games for which he bought tickets for when he was dating Sally, but Tommy begins to worry that he isn't manly enough to compete with the likes of the players. Sally and Harry visit a hardware store, where Sally takes a liking to a series of workers, while Harry is mistaken for an employee, due to his bright orange shirt.

Dick crashes the car into a tree and calls an insurance company to cover it, but the salesman informs him that in order to be covered, he needed to have taken out insurance before the crash. Instead, the salesman manages to convince Harry to buy insurance, but then ignores all of Harry's attempts to call him. Dick, meanwhile, is pleasantly surprised when he discovers just how much more advanced his rental car is than the old Rambler, and so sells the latter for scrap; however, the Solomons soon begin to miss it.

Dick begins to have erotic fantasies about Nina, and makes the mistake of telling Mary about it, leading to an argument between the three of them. Dick is confused, and Don explains to him that his confession makes Mary feel as if she no longer excites him. Meanwhile, Sally falls under the spell of Margaret Williams, a lifestyle guru very similar to Martha Stewart, and an impressed Mary asks her to cater for a fund raiser she is holding. However, Sally becomes annoyed when the guests do not appreciate all the hard work she has put in.

Frank, a former student of Mary's, returns for a lecture series, making Dick jealous, and paranoid that he is after her. When confronting Frank, however, he hints that he is gay, but Dick misreads him and is convinced that he is hinting at being an alien. Therefore, Dick begins to regularly accompany Frank to Geoffrey's Lounge, which he thinks is an alien bar. Meanwhile, Sally, Harry and Tommy receive a visit from Don, who has just inadvertently foiled a bank robbery, and decide to use their superior knowledge to rob a bank themselves. As the episode progresses, each of the Solomons dons a costume of one of the Village People (Dick as the construction worker, Harry as the indian, etc). At the end of the episode on their porch roof get-together, they are joined by Don in his police uniform to complete the tableau, and the episode ends to a Village People song.