The local cinema is showing a film condemned by the Church for its X-rated and blasphemous depiction of Saint Tibulus. Bishop Brennan is dispatched to the island to ensure that the priests take to the picket line in protest. But their defiant stand only gives more publicity to the film, which becomes an overnight success. It is left to Father Jack to stop the Bishop from sending them packing.

Fathers Ted and Dougal enter A Song For Europe with My Lovely Horse. The tune is stolen from the b-side of a Norwegian song that didn't even win A Song For Norway but the lyrics are all their own work. Somehow they get through to Eurovision and score.... nil points.