The annual ceremony of the Vestal Virgins is about to be held. The compere hasn't turned up, so Ludicrus has to 'do the homours', aided by Lurcio.

Ludicrous is promoting a bill in the Senate to close down the local brothels. This brings him into conflict with the brothel keepers, who plot to ruin the Vestal Virgins ceremony.

Ludicrus becomes involved in a plan to assassinate Julius Caesar. Ammonia gives Lurcio the job of foiling the plot. Lurcio is arrested and taken to Caesar's lieutenant, Ponderous. He's forced to impersonate Caesar in an attempt to catch the plotters.

Ammonia is expecting an unwelcome visit from an old flame. She tells Lurcio to get rid of him using a poisonous asp. When a man arrives at the front door, Lurcio disposes of him, as instructed. Then Ludicrus announces that he's expecting a visit from Stovus Primus...

When the Olympia Theatre Company comes to town, Ammonia sends Lurcio to the theatre with a note for one of the actors, who's one of her old flames. At the same time Ludicrus wants Lurcio to deliver a note to one of the actresses.

Lurcio is looking after the house while the family are away. He agrees to hide two escaped slaves. Then various members of the family return home unexpectedly.

The secret plans for a new catapult have been stolen. Lurcio becomes involved in attempts to recover the stolen plans and meets the famous secret agent, James Bondus.

Lurcio becomes involved in attempts to prevent Pompeii from going to war with the Barbarians. One of h anti-war activities involves trying to persuade the women of Pompeii to deny conjugal rights if their husbands get involved in the war.

Nausius is in love with a beautiful young girl named Nymphia. He wants to marry her, but his parents aren't sure that this is a good idea.

Ludicrus loses his seat on the Senate. He decides to sell up and move his family to Rome. Lurcio is up for sale to the highest bidder. He's worried about the kind of master or mistress he'll have next.