REWARD! Last night, The Incredible Steve attended an off-campus party where his penis was lost. He just wants it back, so his family is offering a $10,000 REWARD for its safe return, no questions asked. Please contact the Godolkin Daily Classifieds Office or the Lost-and-Found Desk at the Godolkin Student Union.

The Godolkin University School of Crimefighting is excited to announce its newest course offering: THE PSYCHOLOGY OF SUPERVILLAINS! By studying the most well-known example of a supervillain, Soldier Boy, the course will investigate what makes a superhero go bad, from their flawed origin story, to the vices and moral compromises that lead them astray! Space is limited! Sign up today!