I shall not write a description for Booze Lightyear this week. Enjoy the 35 things you can't say to your children.

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Have you ever seen puppets go wild? We here at Booze Lightyear sure have. In fact, we're very used to seeing puppets going wild. This one time we saw Elmo snort a line of coke while he was humping one of the chicks from Fragile Rock. We asked him to stop, but then Fozzy Bear got in our face and asked us to stop ruining the party. We felt we could've taken Fozzy, but Grover was standing there and he's known to be a badass. So we backed down and let them have their party.

Need an attorney? Need a lawyer? Need a cuddle buddy? Call Booze Lightyear. Our attorneys at Booze Lightyear are also lawyers - and as an added bonus, we're also well versed in legal.

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