Dawkins discovers circumstantial evidence of a domestically abused wife, Grim applies to join the Todgers, and Mayoress Christabel Wickham informs Fowler of the presence of an illegal immigrant in Gasforth. Fowler apparently solves the crimes, but soon realises that they seemed a little too easy.

Gasforth Football Club is about to play Premiership team Chelsea, and Mayoress Wickham orders Fowler and his officers to personally see to it that nothing goes wrong in exchange for her recommending him for an MBE. However, things get complicated when the football players get up to no good.