Benny Scanlon arrives at Yates and makes fast friends with Carmen at Orientation. Will Benny and Carmen be more than friends? Or will the fact that he’s totally… you know… get in the way? His sister Grace hooks him up with unflavored vodka for his pregame, while her boyfriend, Peter, imparts sage senior bro wisdom: get laid day one or suffer the consequences. The stakes couldn't be higher tbh.

Benny and Carmen scour the campus for fake IDs so they can join the rest of the freshmen class–including certified HOTTIE Miles–at Rock Bar. Peter comes through for Benny but not even Carmen's party girl roommate, Hailee, can help her out. Peter flakes on date night at the local Italian restaurant and Grace befriends an elderly woman (for her volunteer hours, duh!). Hailee throws up.

Carmen expertly avoids confronting her disastrous love life while trying to help Benny with his. Grace confides in Janet who pushes her to explore other romantic endeavors. Peter does something drastic that's gonna make you go "oh my god dude" at the end. Oh, and Hailee has mono!