Lew Schneider — Additional Writing

Episodes 3

It Takes Some Getting Used To

0%
April 14, 199630m
2x8

Ben disapproves of his father's sleep-over date.

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Trash Day

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July 13, 199730m
4x5

Katz finds a chair sitting outside on the curb and takes it home (""You wouldn't believe the kind of stuff people throw away."" Ben: ""You mean crap?""). However, he realizes his folly and sends Ben to take it to the dump, which proves to be difficult, because the dump is no longer open to the public (""It's all digital now"").

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Paranoia

0%
September 28, 199830m
5x13

Ben wakes Katz up in the middle of the night, claiming to hear a noise. Katz hears it too, and they both think they're being burglarized. After first trying to scare off the burglar (""I'm sure glad they haven't outlawed semi-automatic weapons in the city yet!""), they give up (""Help yourself, take whatever you want, just lock up when you're done""). Turns out the burglar doesn't get in, but Katz and Ben over-react -- oddly, this time it's Katz who over-reacts more. They get new locks and bars on the windows, and Ben wants a hamster. Katz tells Julie and Stan that a home is burglarized every 15 minutes, and that he can't believe he called 911 and was told he had the wrong number. (Stan: ""Did you dial N-I-N-E-one-one?"" Katz: ""OK, you win, you're the stupidest guy in the bar."") Katz suggests a lower peephole, in case the burglar is a midget. Why? Because every horror movie he's seen has an evil midget in it. (Movies mentioned: ""Midget Killers,"" ""I'm Small and You're Dead,"" ""Too Small to Let

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