Der Lehrer (2009)
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Peter Gersina — Director
Episodes 75
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Nicht schon wieder Jan
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Ich hab’ ja gesagt, ich bin Lehrer
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Wird das jetzt ein Date?
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Elektroschocker, Pfefferspray und ein SEK vor der Tür
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Einfach meine Freundin vögeln
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Wieder so ein fieser Vollmer-Trick
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Kann ich hier mobben?
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Sie reden auch erst und denken dann, oder?
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Oh Gott, es ist eine Liebesgeschichte
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Gangsta, Gangsta!
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Und ob Sie mich wollen!
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Wo war nochmal der Feuerlöscher?
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Jeder hat doch irgendwie ’nen Schaden
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Sie haben einen Arzt geschlagen?
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Die sind verliebt, die zählen nicht!
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Zieh’s Dir rein und weine
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Ich glaub’, Du bist hier das Problemkind
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Deine DNS, Dein Job!
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Sex? Wir? Pff!
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Du willst in mein Leben? Das ist mein Leben!
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Und Gehirn war nicht dabei?
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Sie sind mein L-Lieblingslehrer!
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...und dich auf deinen verdammten Knien!
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Die Flatter, Horror, Hose voll!
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Topf... Deckel...
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Schwing die Hufe Blondie!
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Hab ich 'nen bösen Zwilling?
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Verknallt? So'n Quatsch!
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...nimmt der Prophet Halt den Bus!
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Like in a f* French Movie … so unverkrampft
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Sie mieser ... Schuft
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Die 1–1-2 ist so viel leichter zu merken
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Am Ende kriegt der Held auch noch das Mädchen
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Paula mehr Popo
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Wenn’s hilft, kann ich dir gerne eine scheuern?!
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Du vermisst sie wirklich, oder?
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Irgendwie war’s besser, als er noch nicht geredet hat …
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Wir woll’n euch knutschen sehen!
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40.000 Gründe, die Eier in die Hand zu nehmen, anstatt sie zu schaukeln!
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Ist es der Jagdtrieb, weil Säbelzahntiger ausgestorben sind?
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Das ist quasi eine Win-win-Situation …
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Ich bin vor allem besser im Gehen als im Bleiben!
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Wusste gar nicht, dass Sie so’ne Dramaqueen sind
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Is doch kein Einbruch, wenn man ’nen Schlüssel hat!
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Ganz der Papa!
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...und trotzdem kriegen die irgendwie immer alles hin!
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Ich bin ’ne wandelnde Sonnenuhr
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Entweder völlig bekloppt, oder Stahleier
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Okay, jetzt muss er weg!
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Pikante Details kosten extra
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Irgendwelche Notrufe, Alarme, Explosionen?
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Liebe auf'n ersten Blick wird's ja schon mal nich'!
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Erst Fluchtweg überlegen, dann abhauen!
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Sie sind doch gar kein Veganitarier!
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Wieso strahlst du wie’n Einhorn auf Heimaturlaub?
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Meinste so’n Tumor fragt erstmal nach’m Perso?
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Und es war le-gen-där!
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Immer schön auf die Regeln pochen … und sie dann brechen!
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Das is’n Date und keine Prüfung
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… weil Dummheit nicht lustig ist, sondern traurig
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Einfach mal Klartext geredet …
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Hast du Pech beim Denken, oder was?!
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In einer Woche bettelt er um Sex!
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Okay, ihr wollt’n Kind? Könnt ihr haben
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Ok, in der Tonlage klingt das schon irgendwie dramatisch …
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Kleiner Tipp, werd' besser 'n besserer Lügner...!
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...nimm dein Schwert mit!
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