A pirate captain worries about an early bedtime and the four King Georges form a boyband.

A Stone Age doctor tries to help a modern patient and a Pharaoh invents the pyramid.

A Roman emperor finds a nasty alternative to candles, and an Egyptian tries to save money.

A priest makes a piano from live pigs, Emperor Caligula declares war on the sea, and there are some disgusting beauty tips from Ancient Egypt.

An evil Greek god appears on a daytime chat show, a rich Georgian swaps his wife with a peasant, and we meet some weird medieval monsters.

There is a terrible smell in the Houses of Parliament, Cinderella struggles with the Blitz, and Helen of Troy reveals her complicated love life.

A Victorian inspector checks that school is suitably cruel, HHTV News reports live from the Great Plague, and Thumbelina drowns unpleasantly.

HHTV News reports live from the Battle of Thermopylae, Celt housewives find decorative uses for severed heads, and we learn the revolting truth about Roman toilets.

Queen Victoria learns that her British comforts are not very British, a Viking warrior won't stop talking in rhyme, and on 'Axe Factor', the contestants try to become executioners.

A Victorian teacher is confused by her pupils' bizarre names, the Romans run out of animals to execute, and Queen Victoria advertises her exercise DVD.