Alf and Ivy are settled into their new jobs but things soon hot up when Sir Ralph suspects that his wife, Lady Agatha, is having an affair. Lord Meldrum's car is vandalised – someone has daubed the word "fornicator" on the side which causes a panic when the Bishop wants to use the vehicle.

Alf is being pestered by Mrs. Lipton to finalise his divorce so he gets an old friend to agree to pose as Mrs. Stokes. Meanwhile, he has a brainwave to make some money by fooling Mrs. Lipton into baking some cakes, which she thinks are destined for the local orphanage...

Miss Poppy and Dickie Metcalfe decide to marry and elope to Gretna Green, the rest of the household set off in hot persuit in an attempt to stop them...

Lord Meldrum is intent on sending Teddy to his rubber plantation in Malaya, however the death of Lady Lavender's parrot leads to some bizarre funeral arrangements...