
The Goodies (1970)
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Graeme Garden — Writer
Episodes 74
Beefeaters
The Goodies are asked to assist in discovering who is stealing the Beefeaters' beef.
Read MoreGive Police a Chance
The Goodies are hired to improve the image of the police with the general public.
Read MorePlaygirl Club
The Goodies are asked to recover some sexually explicit photographs of politicians.
Read MoreThe Greenies
The Goodies go on holiday to a Cornish village that has been subjected to military takeover.
Read MoreRadio Goodies
The Goodies open a pirate radio station - and post office.
Read MoreThe Loch Ness Monster
The Goodies help a suicidal zookeeper to locate a monster for London Zoo's Snowdon Monster House.
Read MoreCommonwealth Games
The Goodies take part in the Commonwealth Games as the British team against the August Bank Holiday Islands - with the entire Commonwealth at stake.
Read MoreThe Lost Tribe
The Goodies are asked to find Professor Knutts who went missing whilst leading an expedition to find the Lost Tribe of the Orinoco in 1951. They eventually find him - in Sevenoaks.
Read MoreMusic Lovers
Musicians are being kidnapped all over the country, so The Goodies become famous musicians too, eventually get stolen and come face-to-face with their arch-enemy - The Music Master.
Read MoreFor Art's Sake
Tim's crusade to stop rich Americans from buying all of Britain's art treasures sees him bidding a huge amount of money for one painting, forcing the Goodies to take drastic action to pay for it.
Read MoreKitten Kong
The Goodies' Animal Clinic looks after various problem animals, including Twinkle the kitten who, thanks to Graeme's growth formula, grows to a massive size and terrorises London.
Read MoreFarm Fresh Food
Disgusted at the awful cuisine served up at Ye Olde Shepherds Restaurant, the Goodies head to the farm of Tim's uncle for some fresh country food, only to be further disappointed upon arrival.
Read MoreFree to Live
Bill reports Graeme and Tim to the Women's Liberation Front after he disapproves of their treatment of Graeme's new totty. As a punishment, they are sent to work for Lord Charles (a male chauvinist) - Graeme as the butler and Tim as the maid.
Read MoreGender Education
In response to a proposed appalling BBC film (for schoolchildren, mark you) on S-E-X education, Mrs. Desiree Carthorse - the self-proclaimed most powerful person in the field of television, if not the world, enlists The Goodies to make her version: 'How to Make Babies by Doing Dirty Things'.
Read MoreCharity Bounce AKA London to Brighton
The Goodies are bouncing on space hoppers from London to Brighton for charity. However, they continue to bounce on around the world much to the horror of their tight-fisted sponsor.
Read MoreDouble Trouble
The Goodies' bid to win the Nice Person of the Year Award is being sabotaged by the mysterious Dr. Petal and his evil robot doubles of them and other famous people.
Read MoreKitten Kong (Montreux edition)
The Goodies' Animal Clinic looks after various problem animals, including Twinkle the kitten who, thanks to Graeme's growth formula, grows to a massive size and terrorises London.
Read MoreThe New Office
The Goodies need a new office, but after being ripped off in the local estate agent they decide to build their own - a Graeme designed mobile disused railway station.
Read MoreHunting Pink
Tim is off to spend the weekend at Tally-Ho Towers with his rich Great Uncle Butcher-Fitzsimmons. He is dressed as a Guardsman in the hope that this will impress the old man into leaving him all his money in his will. Bill and Graeme think this is despicable, disgusting - and a very good idea, so they invite themselves along.
Read MoreThe Winter Olympics
The Goodies agree to be Britain's team in the Winter Olympics at the North Pole (there's apparently been a lot of snow there recently).
Read MoreThat Old Black Magic
Witch Hazel's problems with casting spells leads the Goodies to help her to contact lost souls via a seance, and Graeme's mystical powers eventually see him turned into a gibbon.
Read MoreFor Those in Peril on the Sea
Graeme's urge to recreate an early Viking expedition and find the Lost Island Of Munga sees the Goodies shipwrecked and at the mercy of an old foe from a previous show.
Read MoreWay Outward Bound
The failure to find any kids willing to go to an adventure school forces the Goodies to attend disguised as children, only to find that the school is being used for a far more sinister cause.
Read MoreCamelot
Tim's Uncle King Arthur (actually Arthur King, but appearing as 'King, Arthur' in the phone book) is away on holiday and the Goodies have to look after his home, firstly turning it into a tourist attraction, then having to defend it from the clutches of the local town planner.
Read MoreInvasion of the Moon Creatures
Graeme's attempt to send rabbits to the moon seems to be a failure until Bill and Tim's space voyage discovers plots of vegetables and the menacing presence of Big Bunny.
Read MoreHospital for Hire
A bad experience with the hospital system forces the Goodies to become doctors themselves and attempt to fix up the health system with the help of Graeme's magic elixir.
Read MoreThe Goodies and the Beanstalk
The Goodies have hit rock-bottom and are forced to sell Buttercup for a tin of baked beans. In an act of desperation, Graeme plants one of the beans...
Read MoreThe Stone Age
Graeme discovers an ancient tunnel below the Goodies' office and his penchant for potholing soon finds them stuck inside the stomach of a tyrannosaurus rex.
Read MoreGoodies in the Nick
A timid policeman needs the Goodies' help in boosting his tally of arrests, but their fiendishly cunning bank robbery sees them locked away in prison and desperate to escape.
Read MoreThe Movies
The Goodies buy a movie studio and attempt to revitalise the British film industry, but ultimately descend into chaos when they each try to shoot their own film at the same time.
Read MoreThe Clown Virus
A job to dispose of a harmless can of 'tomato soup' for an American military base sees the whole British population turned into clowns and ripe for an invasion by US troops.
Read MoreChubby Chumps
Tim has become rather flabby while the others have been away fishing, but trims himself down thanks to a brainwashing radio DJ and enters the Miss Housewife of the Year Contest.
Read MoreWacky Wales
An invitation to an eisteddfod in Wales has the Goodies in all sorts of trouble with the Reverend after they dare to break many of the puritanical local laws and actually try to entertain people.
Read MoreFrankenfido
Graeme's dog breeding venture gets out of hand and Tim's only chance to win at Crufts is to dress Bill in a dog costume, which forces Graeme to create a shaggy monster of his own.
Read MoreScatty Safari
The main attraction at The Goodies Star Safari Park, Tony Blackburn, is hearing the call of the wild and pining for his freedom. The trio realise that they can no longer keep such a magnificent beast in captivity, and release him. But who should they get to replace him?
Read MoreKung Fu Kapers!
Bill reveals himself to be a Grand Master of the infinitely more subtle and superior Lancastrian martial art of Ecky Thump.
Read MoreLighthouse Keeping Loonies
The Goodies answer an advert for 'a little light housekeeping' and find themselves stuck for five years in charge of an 'overgrown lamp post'.
Read MoreRome Antics
In 55AD the early Goodies venture to Rome to provide entertainment for the fruit-fancying Emperor, but are eventually confronted by Attila the Hun and the invading Barbarians.
Read MoreCunning Stunts
Bill is fired from the Goodies' newspaper for being a hopeless reporter and after he is rejected by the love of his life, he decides to end it all by entering the Eurovision Raving Loony Contest.
Read MoreSouth Africa
The Goodies are forced to emigrate to South Africa where the absence of black people forces a new form of segregation called apart-height, mainly affecting short people like jockeys and Bill.
Read MoreBunfight at the OK Tearooms
With hardly a penny to their name, the Goodies go prospecting for gold - and discover Cornish cream.
Read MoreGoodies Rule - OK?
The unwanted Goodies finally hit the big time after years of failure, only for the government to topple and all forms of fun to be banned, requiring a civil uprising and a puppet government.
Read MoreLips, or Almighty Cod
Cod have become so scarce that there is nothing to make fish fingers from.
Read MoreHype Pressure
Tim invites Bill and Graeme to perform on the talent show he presents.
Read MoreDaylight Robbery on the Orient Express
Goodies Holidays is creating an exciting mystery tour aboard the Orient Express for the Detectives Club, but things go astray when the train is hijacked and taken to the Le Boring Contest.
Read MoreBlack and White Beauty
Graeme has established a rest home for clapped-out old animals and is sent a pantomime horse, which Tim trains before it is callously stolen by Bill to enter in the Grand National.
Read MoreIt Might as Well be String
A series of too honest ads sees revenue for the Goodies' advertising agency plummet, until Tim discovers the joys of string, and Bill and Graeme set about ripping him off.
Read More2001 and a Bit
The futuristic sons of the Goodies have become bored with the extremely violent forms of modern entertainment and seek to revive something truly civilised from their fathers' era - cricket.
Read MoreThe Goodies - Almost Live
A concert featuring many of The Goodies' best known songs, including Cactus in my Y-Fronts, Funky Gibbon, Black Pudding Bertha, Bounce, Last Chance Dance and Wild Thing.
Read MoreAlternative Roots
A historical look back at the ancestors of the Goodies; Celtic Kilty (Graeme), County Cutie (Tim) and Kinda Kinky (Bill) and how they were captured by the evil television slave traders.
Read MoreScoutrageous
Tim indoctrinates Bill and Graeme into the Scouts, but they take things to extremes resulting in the movement being declared illegal.
Read MorePunky Business
The punk phenomenon grips Britain as even grannies reject niceness.
Read MoreRoyal Command
The revised Royal Variety Show hosted by Graeme is so well received by the royal family that they enter showbiz but end up in hospital, requiring the Goodies to act as their replacements.
Read MoreEarthanasia
It's Christmas Eve, and as The Goodies prepare for Christmas they learn that the world is about to end.
Read MoreSaturday Night Grease
Bill decides to open Disco Bilius and introduces a mixed dancing competition.
Read MoreA Kick in the Arts
The British Olympic team is broke. Tim joins them and competes against Graeme and Bill's Rest of the World team.
Read MoreU-Friend or UFO?
The strange alien abductions of trombonists prompt Bill to solve the mystery.
Read MoreWar Babies
The Goodies are grown-up babies who are sent off to boarding school during the war years, and are asked by Churchill to go behind enemy lines to buy him a box of German cigars.
Read MoreFootball Crazy
Bill the soccer hooligan is in fine form as Tim becomes Chief of Police in a bid to stamp out such boorish conduct, with football then becoming so boring that its fans flock to the ballet instead.
Read MoreChange of Life
Bill's 40th birthday makes the Goodies decide to close the business due to old age.
Read MoreAnimals are People Too
Graeme's pet shop has a special new line - people dressed up as animals, but they also suffer from being dumped so Tim sets up a protection society, while Graeme cruelly puts the strays to work.
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