It's Christmastime, and there's a need to be afraid. Jake plans to fulfill his New Year's resolution to call his father who deserted him when he was ten, while Maddie prepares for a blind date with one Dr. Eric Woolf that her father set up. Tess tries to get her friends together for a Christmas party, but they've all got plans. So instead she latches onto Ian's party -- even though he doesn't want her there. Once Tess arrives and sees what Ian calls a Christmas party, she isn't sure she wants to be there either. But at least she's in good company with Ian's eccentric collection of friends: Vince from the looney bin, who has a habit of introducing himself as the last name said in his presence; Phyllis, the maintenance transvestite; Goldy, the midget newsstand guy; and Lois Bickford, the washed-up stage actress who did Ed Sullivan several times -- and still couldn't get on his show. Since Ian's gang are too busy watching a Knicks game to bother having any Christmas spirit, Tess decides t

Oh what a tangled web Ian weaves when he writes a secret admirer letter to Kit, a blonde he likes, and asks Jake to deliver it to her apartment for him. Kit catches Jake slipping it under her door, tracks him down, and the two get it on. Only afterwards does Jake learn that Kit was ""Ian's girl.""

Henry scoffs at Ian's story about a guy being hypnotized into believing he committed a crime he didn't, claiming it's ridiculous. Ian, however, professes to be a hypnotic expert, and swears it could definitely happen. In an effort to kill two birds with one stone, Maddie asks Ian to prove it to Henry by hypnotizing her into enjoying the taste of lobster, since her date promised to cook it for her, and she can't stand seafood. Ian proves it to Henry alright. But when Ian's hypnotic powers turn out greater than even he imagined, Jake and Tess fall under his spell too. Soon, Ian's diabolical attempts to play William Shakespeare with them render the situation more tragedy than comedy.