Henry, Ian and Tess get mugged. Henry does what you might expect, but Ian head-butts the mugger and saves the day -- as well as Tess' purse. Henry soon feels sexually inadequate when he learns that Ian's heroics caused Tess to have an erotic dream about Ian. When Henry won't stop whining, Ian sets up an incident that's designed to make Henry look like a hero in Tess' eyes. Meanwhile, Maddie uses Jake as a decoy boyfriend to avoid being chatted up by bar patrons, but Jake winds up a better decoy than even she wanted.

Ian's first novel, Below Ground, finds its way onto the reading list in Maddie's contemporary literature class. Maddie is thrilled since she's already read it and it will save her time. Ian helps write Maddie's book report for her, but then is furious when her professor only gives her a ""B,"" claiming that she doesn't understand the author's intentions! Ian goes down to talk to the guy, Professor Tuttle, and get the grade changed to an ""A,"" but when Ian blasts the crooked, thick-headed teacher with the declaration that he wrote Below Ground -- as well as Maddie's paper -- Professor Tuttle does indeed change Maddie's grade. To an ""F."" When Ian tells Maddie that Tuttle flunked her, she becomes as enraged as he was when he saw the ""B."" To fix things, Ian comes up with the plan to have Henry meet with Tuttle and claim to be the real Ian Stark, so Tuttle will think Ian was an imposter. Meanwhile, when Jake's girlfriend, Kit, gives him a ""man necklace"" as a gift, which is so ugly and bulky he