Eager to relive their glory days, chaperones Bill and Judy are excited about a teen dance with an '80s theme. The same can't be said of Brian, who's dateless after following his mom's relationship advice. Meanwhile, Bill gives a few pointers on the birds and bees to a football player, who then makes a move on Lauren.

Bill gets caught up in a fantasy card game in which players pretend to be wizards and warlocks after he learns that Brian is a champion player. Meanwhile, Judy starts spending time with Fitz now that Linda is engaged and doesn't have much time for her.

After Bill and Judy catch Brian, Lauren and their friends drinking in the basement, they decide to set an example and abstain from drinking for an entire month. Unfortunately, Bill and Judy's infamously wild Super Bowl party takes place during that time. Brian and Lauren are impressed that their parents have gone alcohol-free for a solid three weeks. However, when Super Bowl Sunday dawns, the "holiday" may be too much for Bill and Judy to handle sober.

Brian is excited and filled with confidence when he receives instant messages from Lauren's hot tutor, Sarah, a smart college student. Bill encourages Brian to pursue her and ask her to the upcoming high school dance. However, just as Brian is about to make his move, his family once again manages to suck the joy out of the moment.

When Bill and Judy discover that their pediatrician has the teddy bear that they used to hide their stash in, they must come up with a plan to get it back. When they find that the toy isn't in the donation bin at Dr. Bloom's office anymore, they go to his house where Lauren is babysitting his granddaughter, Ella. They discover that Ella is sound asleep holding it but as they prepare to get it away from her, Dr. Bloom returns home.

With Brian facing a failing grade if he can't climb a wall, Bill's attempt to fix the situation ends up hurting rather than helping. Meanwhile, with Johnny in Japan, Louise decides the family should learn crafty skills, such as needlepoint.

Invited to a potential new boss' home for dinner, Judy desperately tries to get the family to be on their best behavior, but Brian's conflicting desires for both his daugher and sci-fi memorabilia collection complicate matters.