While Brian gets into the cheerleading squad, Lauren feels miserable because she didn't get a part in the school play, which makes her worry about her popularity. Bill and Judy go down to the school to try working things out, and Bill finds out that Lauren's drama teacher went to high school with him. Convinced that she's offering herself to him, Bill decides to let her down. When Lauren's part gets cut from the play, Judy tells Bill to seduce her teacher and get her back on the play. But Bill eventually finds out that his former high school fling is now a gay woman, and Lauren's participation on the play has nothing to do with it.

Brian is stinking pretty bad, so Bill tries to teach him how to live with ""the Millers sweats."" Turns out Brian has been skipping shower after gym because he feels different from the other guys. Afraid Bill might have given him wrong advice, Judy tries to interfere and Brian reveals that he has ""bigger"" problems. He's angry at Bill for telling his secret to everyone so Bill reveals some of his most embarrassing moments to make up for it – only he didn't know all his friends were hidden in the living room for his surprise birthday party.

Judy discovers that ""boys night out"" consists of flirting with a waitress at the local restaurant. However, when Judy informs Bill that the pretty, young waitress is really an overworked, single mother, Bill accuses Judy of being jealous – until he learns of her flirtation with the mailman.

Jealous of his friend's relationship with his athletic son, Bill tries to bond with Brian by helping him build a St. Patrick's Day parade float. Meanwhile, Lauren dreads the humiliation she's going to suffer when the uncoordinated Judy performs her Irish river dance at the parade.

In order to pay for a tutor to help him study for the PSAT, a stressed-out Brian takes a job with Bill and runs circles around Bill and his slothful co-workers. Meanwhile, Linda uses Lauren to nab a divorcee with a son.

Bill and Judy grow suspicious when Brian and Lauren start secretly making plans and covering up for each other. In order to get to the bottom of things, Bill and Judy start snooping and uncover fake IDs, a box of cash and a receipt from a tattoo parlor.

Bill gets caught up in a fantasy card game in which players pretend to be wizards and warlocks after he learns that Brian is a champion player. Meanwhile, Judy starts spending time with Fitz now that Linda is engaged and doesn't have much time for her.

When Judy discovers that Bill is an excellent cook, she welcomes his help with the meals. But when he gets fussy about the cooking, Judy begins to think that maybe she preferred it when Bill spent all his time on the couch.

When Bill gets a clean bill of health and Judy is advised that her cholesterol is through the roof, Judy writes a beautiful letter to Bill conveying things he should know when she passes on. She begs him to do the same, but Bill finds that he needs someone else to inspire him. Meanwhile, Linda borrows Tina in an effort to help her fiancé, Perry, become more comfortable with children.

Bill and Judy are elated when they discover that Brian actually has a girlfriend, but Bill is even prouder of his son for having a crush on his girlfriend's hot pal. Bill and Judy both have their own thoughts on how Brian should handle his love triangle. Judy wants her son to do the right thing, while Bill, speaking from experience, advises Brian to stay with his plain girlfriend in order to appear sensitive and score the hottie. Meanwhile, Tina retaliates against Linda for scaring her.

Judy asks Bill and Fitz to shoot Tina's ballet recital, but when Tina's teacher takes center stage in a sexy ballerina outfit, Bill can't take the camera off her. After Judy discovers what is on the tape, Bill puts the blame on Fitz in order to save his hide. When Fitz's wife discovers the same tape, Bill takes the blame for filming the attractive teacher. Caught up in a web of lies, Bill and Fitz do everything in their power to keep their wives from discovering the truth.

Bill is irate when he catches Lauren's boyfriend sneaking out of the house after midnight. Following the incident, Bill decides to bond with Chris in order to gain his respect and ensure that the young man is less likely to disrespect his daughter. When Chris reveals to Bill that Lauren is the one who wants things to move faster, the Millers make a valiant attempt to put their parenting skills to work.

After Bill and Judy catch Brian, Lauren and their friends drinking in the basement, they decide to set an example and abstain from drinking for an entire month. Unfortunately, Bill and Judy's infamously wild Super Bowl party takes place during that time. Brian and Lauren are impressed that their parents have gone alcohol-free for a solid three weeks. However, when Super Bowl Sunday dawns, the "holiday" may be too much for Bill and Judy to handle sober.

Bill and Judy come to Fitz's rescue by helping him adjust to his new life as a single man by joining him in his new bachelor pad and helping him pick up women at a bar by pretending that they are all swinging singles. Meanwhile, Linda agrees to watch their kids until she figures out that Bill and Judy's efforts to help Fitz may not be as altruistic as they appear.

Brian is excited and filled with confidence when he receives instant messages from Lauren's hot tutor, Sarah, a smart college student. Bill encourages Brian to pursue her and ask her to the upcoming high school dance. However, just as Brian is about to make his move, his family once again manages to suck the joy out of the moment.

The guys down at the toilet store get a new boss "a young, brash, Harvard graduate" who develops a friendship with Brian. Bill shamelessly benefits from the situation until Judy steps in and leaves no question that she's still the boss. Meanwhile, Tina and her mysterious new friend frustrate Lauren.

When Bill and Judy discover that their pediatrician has the teddy bear that they used to hide their stash in, they must come up with a plan to get it back. When they find that the toy isn't in the donation bin at Dr. Bloom's office anymore, they go to his house where Lauren is babysitting his granddaughter, Ella. They discover that Ella is sound asleep holding it but as they prepare to get it away from her, Dr. Bloom returns home.

Bill gets jealous when Brian becomes excited about his upcoming trip to Europe for a summer exchange program. In an effort to create a bonding moment with his son before he departs, Bill plans a last minute camping trip. But when Brian arrives late to leave on the excursion, the two have a falling out. Bill, still determined to bond with Brian, makes one last attempt before his son boards the plane, with disastrous results.

Brian has returned from his summer abroad and he should be excited about starting his senior year of high school, but he left his heart in Italy and can't stop thinking about the girl he met. Meanwhile, Linda's so desperate to keep Perry from a long-term gig on the road that she resorts to injuring him.

After scolding Bill and Kyle for their childish behavior, Judy is forced to swallow her pride and ask Kyle for help when she makes an irresponsible mistake.

When Bill and Judy finally meet a couple they both really enjoy, they start competing against one other to see which of them the couple likes best. Meanwhile, Brian makes an interesting discovery when he mixes up his cell phone with Linda's.

Bill and Judy search for a pair of tickets to a Rolling Stones concert, but getting them proves to be more difficult than they'd hoped. Meanwhile, they have to put up with Marion expounding on how wonderful she and Fitz's marriage is.

When Judy's excellent coaching may put Tina's basketball team in the playoffs, Bill tries to get them to lose so he can watch real basketball on TV instead. Meanwhile, Linda's hurt when her cat seems to love Lauren more than her.

When Brian graduates high school, he plans to move out and Bill and Judy plan to expand their bedroom into his. However, Brian gets the impression they've split and have become swingers.