Jeffrey Lane — Writer

Episodes 5

The Grammy Pre-show

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30m
1x17

Mishaps abound, including the loss of a borrowed diamond earring, as Bette gets ready to attend the Grammy Awards.

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Pilot

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October 11, 200030m
1x1

When Danny DeVito asks Bette to play his mother in his TV show and when Roy falls asleep on her, Bette begins to thinks she's getting old.

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Silent But Deadly

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November 1, 200030m
1x4

Bette gets laryngitis after pushing herself too hard but refuses to admit to Roy that he was right when he suggested that she take it easy.

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In My Life

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November 22, 200030m
1x7

Throughout the episode, Bette plays the piano singing the theme to the series ""Nobody Else But You"" as Connie, Roy, Oscar, and Rose one-by-one begin to join her, she reminisces about how she first met them...

Connie - 1980 Bette meets Connie in the restroom at Studio 54. Bette misses Connie's performance of ""Funky Mailbox"" so she sings a little bit to her. They become friends.

Roy - 1983 Connie and a nervous Bette get onto an airplane and Bette's seat is next to Roy. He is obviously annoyed by her. Roy eases her into the flight and she begins to like him.

Oscar - 1986 Oscar comes to apply for the job of musical director. She's more interested in a table than Oscar's application. Oscar avoids her question of how much she paid for the table by answering different questions about himself and ending up with a generous amount of money for his pay.

Rose - 1987 Rose gives birth to Rose. In a lot of pain, she slams Roy's head into the bed repeatedly, makes Connie perform the end of Wes

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... Or Not to Be

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December 13, 200030m
1x9

When Bette finds out that Tim Curry is in town doing a stage production of William Shakespeare's ""Hamlet,"" she pushes her way into the production, playing the part of his mother, Gertrude. Oscar can't stand Mr. Curry, due to an encounter he thinks he had with the actor while he was a cater-waiter in London, but agrees to help Bette learn her lines. Bette, however, is disinterested in learning the part and proceeds to ruin the rehearsals, forgetting her lines, letting her cell phone go off, and finally (accidentally) punching Tim in the crotch. So Tim suggests they move her character's death into the prologue -- and Bette obliges, working out a catchy production number with The Harlettes.

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