Cracked's best writers highlight the disturbing logical implications of Back to the Future. Incest, suspected infedelity, rape, danger sluts, Calvin Kline, and white people started black history. Also, you ladies might want to stay away from Chuck Berry's restroom.

Think your high school sucked? Try attending one of these..

You should never lose sight of your priorities, even during the apocalypse.

Seriously? You don't feel the need to let those of us with nuclear weapons in on the dark wizard threatening to end the world?

Like "The Wire," but everyone's Omar.

In the wake of the astrological sign changes, a brand new episode of After Hours asks, "Wouldn't it be easier to just follow the astrology of the Ninja Turtles?"

A brand spanking new episode of After Hours where we discuss women's rights, but only in a galaxy far far away.

At some point vampires went from monster to sex symbol. We explain why.

Bruce Wayne could probably be prosecuted for his work as Wayne Enterprises CEO. And it's all so he can fight crime less efficiently than the police.

You only get one super power. Choose wisely.

If you could live in any TV commercial universe, which would you pick? Choose wisely.

A brand new After Hours gets to the heart of why you wet the bed until you were eleven.

Cracked After Hours returns on the wings- er...the raccoon tail of a cultural hero.

Behind every boring ice-breaker, there is a much better question waiting to be asked.

ED-209? Terminators? You don't need to go to sci-fi for the most terrifyingly likely robot uprising. It's already started.

When you actually connect the dots, sitcoms feature lots of creepy subplots, disappearing characters, and plenty of subtext that makes the laugh track sound pretty damn nervous ...

Think twice about your prayers each night to Q, Trekkies. There are a lot of good reasons why you'd hate living on the Enterprise.

And yet, why isn't PETA calling out these monsters? We think it's because Big Gaming is paying them to look the other way.

New episode of Cracked After Hours about why teens are afraid of cars, Brits are afraid of urban murderers and the whole world is afraid of aliens.

'Toy Story' is secretly about slavery, but when you put them all together, you get an even creepier universe.

Indiana Jones is awesome to watch, and terrible to be around in just about any other context. We explain why.

Even the most groundbreaking TV shows all follow an extremely specific formula.

But as the trailer for Skyfall proves, at least he can still stick a landing.

Disney teaches terrible lessons to kids all the time.

With Great Power, Comes Great Something Something.

All the reasons Kate Hudson movies are worse for you than torture porn.

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