Patrick reluctantly agrees to let Alex pose as macho action hero Kyle Britton's girlfriend – in order to stave off rumors that Kyle's gay – and then to stage a phony breakup. But an open mic backstage at a talk show could threaten to out Alex and Kyle's sham relationship and force Kyle out of the closet.

Alex is a bit surprised when Patrick doesn't invite her to accompany him to his and Stevie's high school reunion. After overhearing a phone message from Laura — Patrick's high school flame — Alex begins to suspect that her mild-mannered boyfriend may be trying to hook up with his ex, and has to figure out a way to keep an eye on him during the party.

After Patrick gets into an argument with fashion critic Joan Rivers over a trivial matter, Alex discovers that not one fashion designer will create an Oscar gown for her in fear that Alex and her garments will be thrashed by Ms. Rivers on the red carpet. But in order to rectify the situation, Patrick must seek the aid of Alex's ruthless agent, Elliot, whose solution could land the teacher in even more hot water.