Homer catches Mr. Burns in an ether-induced haze and asks for $500 for his bowling team. When Burns' head clears, he demands to join the team. Meanwhile, Bart's inflammatory T-shirt provokes Principal Skinner to require school uniforms.

Washed up and plagued by scandal, Troy McClure sees a marriage to Selma as his ticket back to success.

When Homer joins the Naval Reserve, a captain takes a liking to him and leaves him in charge of a nuclear submarine.