Fry's brief relationship with Amy is forcibly prolonged when a near-fatal car crash leaves Fry's head grafted to Amy's left shoulder. Meanwhile, Bender cashes in on Valentine's Day by starting a dating service.

The Professor's "What-If" machine simulates Bender, Leela and Fry's wishes. Bender discovers what it would be like if he were 500 feet tall, Leela discovers what it would be like if she were more impulsive, and Fry discovers what would happen if he never came to the future.

After a string of bad luck, Fry ventures into the decaying ruins of Old New York to regain his lucky seven-leaf clover from his childhood, only to find that his brother Yancy Fry had stolen not only the clover, but Fry's identity as well. Fry sets out to exhume his brother's body, but discovers the startling truth about Yancy instead.

While creating a team of mutants to play the Harlem Globetrotters, the Professor accidentally causes a disruption in time that threatens the existence of the universe. Meanwhile, Fry tries to win an unreceptive Leela's heart.