Jack is incensed when his dead mom's former lover shows up and suggests they commemorate her birthday. Jack taps his students to help him retaliate, but the students' hands are already full - of crying robot babies. Stef's kindness toward Dale the janitor sends the wrong signals.

In the hectic thirty minutes that start every day at Whitlock, Jack tries to retrieve his massage chair from Whitlock's intriguing payroll accountant, Lynette. Durbin and Helen prepare for the morning announcements. Michelle gives a eulogy.

Jack's war with his neighbor reaches a turning point when it threatens to ruin a date with Lynette. When the school photographer ups his rate, Durbin takes school pictures into his own hands.

Jack is outraged when his old high school bully is hired as a motivational speaker at Whitlock. Mary, Stef and Michelle set their own personal goals of female empowerment, unintentionally causing a rift between Helen and Durbin.

When budget cuts threaten to gut Whitlock and put his job in jeopardy, Jack recruits Mary, Stef, and Michelle to take down the Superintendent. Durbin plans an appeal to the heart, while the students plan an appeal to the soul.

After an embarrassing video of him falling off a stage goes viral, Jack plans a viral video of his own. Durbin, Helen and the teachers track down Whitlock's most notorious litterer: The Sugar Daddy.

When he's kicked off his Harvard phone plan, Jack is offered a chance to leapfrog onto Mary's on one condition: He helps her break up with her scuzzy boyfriend. Meanwhile, Anthony becomes Durbin's right-hand man.

Jack accidentally loses a significant amount of money and it falls in the hands of the students. As Principal Durbin and Helen investigate who stole the money, the students and teachers admit to other wrongdoings.

Principal Durbin takes it upon himself to help Jack advance his book with an appearance on Toledo's morning TV show but lets his five minutes of fame get the best of him. The other teachers lead a competition within the Young Entrepreneurs Club.

As the school prepares for winter break, Jack tries to record a lecture on Thoreau's transcendentalism as a way into the University of Wisconsin's philosophy department. Frustrated and unable to finish the video, he falls asleep and has nightmares.

While the rest of the town prepares for the celebration of Toledo's annual Katie Holmes Day, Jack and Marissa plot to ruin the holiday pageant.

A tornado puts the school on lockdown. The kids write fan fiction about faculty members.

Jack has the students form a fake cult to sabotage Principal Durbin's new school uniforms.

Jack attempts to get closer with the guys at work. Helen helps Principal Durbin grow a backbone.

Jack's students steal his Harvard pen. Principal Durbin fails the superintendent's inspection.