Discuss How to Be Loved

On the surface this is a story about the Nazi occupation of Poland. But if you pay close attention there are some sneaky hints that indicate we're not getting the full story, or we might even be getting a distortion of reality.

The story is narrated by the main character Felicja and shown through a series of her flashbacks. But these flashbacks conveniently omit certain key facts. The first omission happens in the beginning when Peters gets killed in the street. Since the story is from her point of view, we see her looking out the window watching Peters. Then she happens to turn away from the window 'coincidentally' at the exact moment Peters gets shot, meaning she doesn't see who shot him. Or rather: she doesn't admit that she saw who it was.

Another very noticeable lapse happens when the Nazis raid her apartment. Something very traumatic happens, but notice how the camera doesn't show any of it. There's a bizarre jump cut right before the event to right after, almost as if she blocked out an entire memory. Then a 2nd traumatic event happens, but what does the camera show us? Not the event itself but instead the camera goes off to the next room where we see a Nazi washing up in the sink.

Remember these are Felicja's flashbacks so the camera should be with her at all times, but in this noticeable exception the camera goes off to the next room. I think we can interpret that what happened was so traumatic that she chose, in her mind, to imagine the Nazi washing up in the sink instead of what took place.

There could be other examples, but you get the point. The camera isn't an objective witness here. It reflects Felicja's psychological attempts to block out things that are too traumatic, or things that she wants to deny. (There's that whole question of her collaborating with the Nazis which is glossed over!) Ultimately this film isn’t just a war story, it’s a complex Rashomon-esque exploration of PTSD and how it alters memory. What sets this apart from Rashomon, or Citizen Kane, or any of the other landmark films that depicted the unreliability of memory, is that here the witness isn’t putting on a show for any judge, reporter or audience. These are Felicja’s private thoughts; she’s fooling herself.

Lastly, if we realize that the camera isn't showing us everything because Felicja is blocking out painful truths, what can we say about the ending? We/she didn’t see it happen. Once again, absolving her of all knowledge/involvement/guilt, she was in the next room. Or was she?? 👀

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