Percy is bribed into making a TV commercial against drinking and driving in exchange for parole. Later Percy and Anastasia are off to BINGO and to no one's surprise Percy blows his entire welfare check in a frustrated exuberance to win the BIG prize. In the meanwhile Kevin tries to blow off steam at the Lazertag Park

Percy gets the winter blues and ""hates everything!"" while Kevin's already socially disturbed character becomes aggravated by the lack of sunlight and isolation caused by intense cold. Anastasia gets a phone call from BC BUD who says he's coming to town. Everyone in town is sure happy whenever he makes a trip from Vancouver.

Timmy lands himself a CO-OP job at the Camel Toe Inn as a stripper's assistant. Kevin is inspired by Timmy's work ethic and decides he also needs a CO-OP job. Kevin is sent to help Tron Devoneer, a flaming contemporary artist, at his estate. Meanwhile Anastasia and Percy ""GET IT ON"" after Percy steels Nobel Prize sperm from the basement of Jimmy's pawnshop.

Anastasia is at the feed and seed buying a stronger ""Industrial "" pesticide for unstated ""personal reason's"" when animal rights activists take over and hold the staff hostage. After several hours in their charge Anastasia does a Patty Hearst and joins the terrorists.

After a tooth extraction, Kevin develops a bizarre snakelike fang in the back of his mouth. Percy meanwhile has been arrested for saying "BOMB" at the airport. He cops a deal to become a snitch on the Quebec Mafia, but makes everything up, and uses his newfound stoolie immunity to drive on sidewalks and act like a jackass. When Percy's handler, Gruff Cop gets upset, Kevin bites him and they discover his new fang contains paralyzing neurotoxins.

Kevin secretly enters Percy as a contestant on an American gameshow, ""Who Wants to Marry a Prostitute."" Percy nearly wins but the show is canceled midstream by the new network head, Bruno Gerussi. Percy is furious and searches for his Drunken Welfare Man costume. Kevin and Allen meanwhile tour the LA basin, blacking out at the Viper Club.

Barfy Boozehound, a beer mascot, introduces a contest and Percy is resolutely training at the Camel Toe when someone mentions the upcoming smoking ban. Percy inspires Marty to move the bar to another acreage he owns, which happens to spill over the Quebec border. Marty enlists Charlie, who's returned with trucker stories and songs, to use his big rig to tow the bar.

Percy and the family attend a Neighborhood Watch meeting to get information on serial killer prevention. Afterwards, Percy takes them to ‘Boobies' restaurant. Kevin is obsessing about Shawna and wonders if her friendly greeting on the bus was an invitation? Anastasia hooks up with some protesters who decide to open a competing restaurant ""Peckers."" Shawna sets up Kevin as the killer, the killer kidnaps Percy and Anastasia shacks up with the Corporal. Just another day in Landville.

Percy and Anastasia both receive mail to discover that Percy must attend a retraining course at the Employment Insurance office, while Anastasia is asked to jury duty. Meanwhile Kevin is upstairs painting his entire room black. The episode ends with a mysterious turn of events that can only be solved by the magic wizard living in the back yard.

Each member of the Spencer family revisits a classic Halloween Urban Legend as they recount the scariest thing that has ever happened to them. Booze, zombies, a crazy lunatic and the perfect nuclear family. Spend Halloween with the Spencer's as they get nice and tanked and tell ghost stories around the campfire.

Daryn and Mista Mo, from the BUZZ show on the Comedy Network, visit Landsville to film their next episode. After their cameraman is murdered, the two comedians suddenly disappear and it is only by the cunning skills of Vern Charlebois that they are found. Meanwhile, Mom and Percy use the BUZZ camera equipment to film themselves as they white trash they truly are.

In true Three's Companyesque fashion, the Spencer's quarrel over selling the house. Percy can't leave the house because of an ankle bracelet we is forced to wear as part of his parole. Anastasia and Kevin hatch a plot to break the construction lot that is threatening to build over their property. Later, Percy discovers he has sawed the wrong leg off as the cops find him at the Camel Toe Inn.

Percy decides the whole world is against him and plots to leave IT all behind. The Spencer's hold a garage sale to pillage for cash and somehow scrounge enough dough to make it to Chile. Percy is arrested immediately upon touchdown, Mom, not understanding the currency exchange, prostitutes herself for way too little and Kevin runs off with Percy's money and gets lost in the jungle.

Percy and Anastasia discover an additional room in their house that's gone unnoticed because of the boxes piled in front of its door. They make it their little hide-a-way from home where they stash their extra smokes and booze from the boy. Meanwhile, Kevin is preoccupied with a gopher he finds and tapes to his head.

It's a showdown between Drunken Welfare Man and Alcoholic Welfare Man. Percy faces his nemesis as both heroes try to prove their honor as the greatest substance abusing, welfare-frauding crime fighter.

Kevin tries manipulating a group of Alzheimer patients at the old age home into believing he is their grandson and therefore they should give him their money. While loitering at the hospital he meets Lisa an orderly and the girl of his dreams. Trying to impress Lisa, Kevin lies and says he's a cordon bleu chef. His big date turns disastrous when Percy and Mom come and blow his cover.

The Spencer's are the ""Rabid Dog Cigarettes Contest Winners"" and they win a vacation at the Tiki-Wana Beach Resort. Anastasia forces Percy to enter a surfing contest in order to prove his honour for her. Now he's up against Moondog, a world class surfing champ. Kevin on the other hand is wandering through the beaches with the word ""lozer"" inscribed on his forehead. Kevin is also forced to enter the contest in order to prove his worth to become a Losers gang member. Next thing you know there's a tidal wave. Stay tuned, this is the Spencer's grooviest episode yet baby!